I am confused.
I overcame my procrastination, and jumped into edits.
I’d decided to be a good little girl and shape Luk and Emma’s story towards submitting it to Modern Heat. After all, I set off on this journey last year deciding to target Presents/Modern Heat. I have a M&B comps slip fast approaching it’s metaphorical use-by date, if it hasn’t already passed it, and there’s another HMB competition coming up. Plus, I love to read Modern Heat stories. All good reasons.
The edits went well for the first 20,000 words or so, though there are two whole chapters in there I seriously think I might need to ditch, even after heavy edits. Nothing really wrong with them, just not enough right with them.
Then I hit real trouble. The stuff I loved writing, the single title style stuff, the stuff that I knew would need to be chopped to make the story fit any HMB line. I deleted it, without reading it. Okay, doing well. Deep breath. It was nearly all gone. Then I made a big mistake. I started reading what was left of it.
*wail* I don’t want to cut this stuff.
It’s the best writing in the book. Honestly. I’m not claiming it’s good, mind, just that it’s better than any of the other stuff I’m keeping.
Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to take this writing out of the story. With it, it doesn’t fit HMB. Without it, and with a lot of other editing, it just might.
But even with the kidnap scene left in, where the hell does the story fit? The kidnap and rescue is pure Little Black Dress. It’s sassy. It’s funny. Well, I thought so, anyway. But I’ve never read an LBD with a Royal marriage of convenience and lots of hot newlywed sex in it. To make it LBD, the sex has to be toned down. Plus, it’s a MH/Presents plot. The whole plot needs to be rethought.
So I can ditch the kidnap but keep the sex, or ditch the sex and keep the kidnap.
Now you see why my main thought is – ack! Whichever way I go, I’m looking at major rewrites, because I have a mongrel mess of a story that’s not one thing or the other.
I’ve had this dilemma all along- was I aiming at series romance, or single title? Unfortunately, reading the draft, I never did work it out, just threw whatever was in my head at the time into the story. So some days I’ve written pure Presents, some days pure single title, and other days God knows what!
I woke up this morning and first thought into my mind was another secondary character who has to go. Alice, the feisty old woman Emma cares for. She’s there in chapter 1, but doesn’t have any more role to play, so she is out too, if I’m aiming for MH. *sigh* In a single title, she can stay, though I need to figure out how she comes into the story later on. Maybe she can have her own love story, after all, it’s six years since her beloved Reg died, and she is tired of being on her own. You can see why I don’t want to cut these secondary characters. They are real people to me, part of what has made the heroine who she is. But there just isn’t room for them in a series romance.
It really hurt yesterday cutting that kidnap and rescue scene! My plan now, just for fun and my own development as a writer, is that I’m going to write it both ways. First as a category romance aimed at Presents/ Modern Heat, then as a single title aimed at Little Black Dress. I can see which one feels best for me, which I enjoy writing most, which one my voice is best suited for.
The needs of the two lines are so different! Point of view, heat level, character development, secondary characters, focus.
The lovemaking in my first draft felt hot hot hot when I was writing it, because it was aimed at Presents. Heat levels in LBDs seem to be more warm than hot. It happens, but it’s less intense and passionate, definitely lighter and more euphemistic.
It feels like less work to keep it aimed at MH. But I’m realising just how much I need to cut out to make it MH. Not just the kidnap. A lot of secondary characters, including some I adore. Probably another chapter where they are apart but she keeps emailing him.
I guess this is what “tightening up a draft” means for Presents- it’s about narrowing the focus down to those two central characters, for depth and emotional intensity. That’s all we need to see in a Presents, anything else is periferal. While LBDs are still centred on the heroine, and by definition the hero, as he impacts on her life, but the focus is pulled back a bit, so we see more of her world and the other people in it. Gives a bigger picture, but also lessens the emotional intensity. Though they can be emotionally strong too, they nearly always make me cry, but it’s a different sort of intensity to Presents/MH. It’s less about the relationship and more about the heroine’s emotional growth.
I need to think about what I really want to do, where I want to go with my writing. If I start a story clear which line I am aiming for, clear on what the needed elements are, I won’t get in this muddle again. I can stay focused as I write. I can already see how my next story idea could go either way.
Right now, I’m going with plan A. Write Luk and Emma’s story as an MH now, and polish the partial right up, so I have it ready to submit. Then I can have a go at it the other way! It’s a lot of work but will show me where my writing is best suited, and what I enjoy writing the most. Shame I can’t submit both at once of course and see who accepts it, but unlikely though I know it is (about the same odds as getting hit by lightning and winning the lottery in the same day), it’s just sod’s law that BOTH would be accepted and then I’d really be in the doo-doo. Though if I get it done in time I could put the LBD version in for my New Writers Scheme entry and get some risk free feedback on it.
I think I already know which line I really want to aim for, but it will be fun finding out. I don’t want the goal of seeking publication to sidetrack me and to lose something more important through focusing purely on that. This year is about finding who I am as a writer, learning and growing. It has to be about the journey as well as the destination. Though seeing my stories published eventually will be good too!